Monday, October 26, 2009

Sad news

This is very difficult for me to write. The HCG dropped and today my fears were confirmed. We are having a miscarriage. I know it is very early. But it doesn't make anything easier.

I just knew this was happening. I felt extreme cramping all night Saturday night. And I had a steady amount of cramping all day yesterday. I spotted a little first thing this morning before I went in for the bloodwork. Also, my breasts went from being extremely sore to normal over night on Friday night. And oddly - I JUST KNEW. I didn't feel pregnant anymore.

We are devastated. And unlike the sadness from our first miscarriage, I just feel pissed off this time! I am full of anger. This just isn't fair!

Well - that was a quick way to blow 20 grand! Dr P feels that we could try again in a month. And I think we are game to try again also. Although, I have no idea where we will come up with more money. We just have to figure it out and try one more time. It was kind of 'fun' in a way - giving myself my own injections and seeing the follies multiply on the ultrasounds. We were so full of hope with this cycle! And now, I think it will be very intense and a bit depressing.

I believe that everything happens for a reason. I just wish I could figure out what that reason is.

5 comments:

Andrew Albinger said...

:(

Well if you decide to try again or decide to not try again either way you will have made the right choice.

You two probably need some "us time" to unwind and think it through with a clear head and ignore everyone else's distractions.

Good luck! Give us a call when you want to talk to someone.

-Andrew

Elizabeth said...

So Sorry Annie Bananie :(

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry to hear your news Ann.

Just keep believing...

~Erin

jenicini said...

I am so sorry. I'm thinking of you.

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry, I know it doesn't help, but I know how you feel. I hope whatever you decided that you feel comfortable and good with the decision. Take care and thinking of you

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